For a couple of weeks I could not get meditation out of my brain. After three whole days of feeling called to sit down and listen, waiting and making excuses, I finally made the time meditate. I sat down and relaxed. I tried, I breathed, I shifted and moved around, but I could not focus. After a few minutes I decided to complete a guided meditation instead. I searched and decided to try first contact (I had done this meditation a few times before). At first I was very disappointed with my experience. I really wanted to listen, hear what my higher self had to say, but I could not focus the entire time. Thoughts of grocery lists, plants, and university all crowded and spilled into my mind like clothes in an neverending overflowing dirty hamper. My thoughts scattered everywhere. I walked away disappointed that I didn’t see an alien or spacecraft. I was hoping to at least spot an orb!
After the meditation I went directly to bed, a few days later I decided to write about my experience. If I had not decided to write down my experience, I would have never known how much contact I had actually made that day. During the meditation I felt a ball of white golden energy leave or enter my chest, I could not tell if the ball of light left or entered. While the orb was entering/leaving my chest I felt beings surround me. I could see the beings (they kind of looked like zetas but the memory is blurry) and the ball of light, but at the same time I could not. It was like I was in two places at once. Maybe I was in a different dimension that I cannot reach in my physical body.
After the meditation it was like a block was removed from my mind that allowed me to follow my heart. I was finally able admit to myself that I am queer/gay and it felt so good.
I’ve always wanted to see ghosts or aliens, but my experience was better than any ghost or alien. I am finally able to accept who I am without fear or anxiety.
photo credit: interview of Pearl Mackie on BBC