Welcome Help & Advice Hard Crush Phenomenon

This topic contains 5 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by Tmantel fieldsandtrees 1 week, 1 day ago.

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  • #7072

    Now this really isn’t something I want to be posting but I am just open to any information I can get my hands on. I have been meditating on this and asking my guides and so far nothing is coming forward, or it is and i just can’t decipher the info. Slightly embarrasing but whatever here goes..

    It seems that I have had three phases in the last 2 years where I have had a HUGE crush on someone I dont even know, and it is SO INTENSE. I’m talking more intense than I have ever experienced before, and once I didn’t even know the persons name. I like to think I keep my self in good, honest mental shape but this reoccuring nightmare is basically not sane. I understand that attraction is attraction but what has been happening here is bordeline obsessive. Reoccuring dreams with my victim of choice, often thinking of the person, controlling behaviour (only of myself) to see the person. Its very out of character and something I really want some clarity on as it can all send me out of alignment.

    I feel that to some level I am projecting on these people as I really dont know them at all, nor do they show a huge interest in me. Its kind of like something in me switches and I just become this ravenous weird woman who has these huge child like crushes with no real reason why. I’ve sort of tired of it now, as it is definately throwing me off balance.
    Surely someone must know what I’m talking about?
    #pleasehelp it all feels very confusing in this noggin.

    As a side note: Have had a string of fairly unhealthy relationships which in the past had rendered me a shade “blocked” and havent entered into a romantic relationship for a fairly long time as I’ve been very commited to my own self development and am wanting to attract the right sort of fella, not my previous kind.
    I’ve also been doing sexual healing around the time these crushes started, what is going on?!

    Thanks
    this feels scary to post
    A

    #7075

    Hi! I can relate to this, it used to happen to me too. I can’t say it i completely moved on about this, but right now i’m in a relationship and i dont even think of other people in a romantic way. But what i can say, looking back at my past self when i had these same crushes, is that i was desperate for attention (not so much for a relationship or even sex) and at the same time i was too scared to act on this urge to be seen or noticed by these guys i was crushing on (that as you say i didnt even know their names in some cases. I felt like a stalker). This inner contradiction i was holding was eating me alive inside, bc all of the obsessive behaviour made me feel so guilty and so out of balance. It started to get better when i decided to acknowledge this need to be paid attention to and also realising i needed to work with my boundaries (i feel that going out of my way to “casually” meeting my crush just be there and do nothing has SO much to do with my boundaries)
    Well, i hope you feel less alone with this, i know it can get pretty heavy
    <3

    #7077

    Thankyou for replying!

    Yes the inner contradiction is very very loud, to the point where i cannot continue in these games! Can I just ask,
    (i feel that going out of my way to “casually” meeting my crush just be there and do nothing has SO much to do with my boundaries) – how did this relate to your boundaries in place at the time?
    If i took a birds eye image of the above (which is something i def do) symbolically its all over the place!

    A x

    #7079

    I have a theory about technically impossible relationships, the ones that seem so close but are yet…you know.

    At the moment we’re going through a big change on the Earth. Not everyone makes it apparent that they’re aware of it, and maybe a lot of people aren’t. But obviously some people are feeling the effects in one way or another.

    It is my opinion that there are in some fashion forces and beings that are assisting us through this change. For those of us who are moving onward and upward (at least from a certain point of view), this assistance can manifest in, among other things, a seemingly endless string of interpersonal roadblocks, such as unworkable relationships, that exist for the sake of serving as placeholders in our mental architecture. This allows us the time and the freedom to learn how to think differently than the system we have just left required us to. If such situations were not put in place, we would fall into the same old patterns of thought and behaviour, and would not be able to leave the old world behind for the new.

    I think it’s interesting that in this discussion there is mention of the topic of boundaries. What first comes to my mind when I think of boundaries are invisible lines on the ground, with unwritten rules stating what is and is not acceptable on either side of the line (best conceived, incidentally, from a bird’s eye perspective). This is a fairly significant element to our 3D society, dictating such important factors as who belongs to which nation, depending on which side of the line they’re born, as well as who has the right to be where, and when they’re allowed there, etc. If, however, humanity is moving into a “5D” sensibility, as some claim, might there not be a push not re-evaluate our stances on such boundaries, perhaps to the point of our subconscious (or some other force) compelling us to be in situations where we must either sort out our internal contradictions or cease to move forward?

    #7084

    Fieldsandtrees, thankyou.
    I agree with the points you raise.

    The logical parts of me completely understand this, yet when in the midst of the above explained, it can really sweep me away (resulting in my loss of vision very quickly) I am so curious to know exactley what ‘s being highlighted to me in these instances, but maybe I will recieve all of the information at a later date. I haven’t really heard about this being spoken about before and really appreciate people replying, as it has enabled downloads that i was struggling to ground.

    “, a seemingly endless string of interpersonal roadblocks, such as unworkable relationships” – Yes, yes & yes. For the past few years, it has been exactly that. I am proud of how I’ve manovered through the challenges, and now the challenges seem to lie in relationships that are unformed which up until now has caused no end of confusion.

    Maybe its only when we have moved forward through these situations that we can delve in to a slightly more evolved platter of boundaries, with more depth than what has served us and was needed in the 3D.

    I’m getting more information now regarding my question, however part of this is still blurred for me. This is also a game of patience as I am used to recieving information regarding relationships very quickly.

    Ps , have you been in this situation?

    #7091

    “Ps , have you been in this situation?”

    Something akin to it I think, but not nearly as emotionally intense as you described. In a nutshell, there was someone who I knew about from the Internet but hadn’t ever met in person, who (by whatever standards one can accurately judge another based on what they can get from the Internet) I thought quite highly of. As it turned out, and rather mysteriously, she lived in the same city as me, albeit well on the opposite side. Though technically no crossing of train-tracks were involved in reaching that end, it could easily be described as the nicer half.

    So I thought, “Well. Who would I be if I just allowed this situation to pass?” But then in the same mental breath I thought “This is way too weird of a coincidence. What is really going on?”

    And with those two influences at war with each other I allowed myself the compromise of occasionally spending time in her end of the city, in public places of course, kind-of-hoping to run into her, but not really sure what I would do if I did or if it would be even a good thing. It occurred to me that this circumstance had many of the hallmarks of a stereotypical metaphysical trap (i.e. temptation + new element (the Internet) + uncertainty of moral choice).

    I did see her on occasion. I didn’t approach her, because, though there was a kind of anticipatory tension there, I never felt overwhelmingly sure that it was the right thing to do. I don’t know what was going through her head at the time either; if it were a trap of some kind, she might have been innocently caught up in it, or at least partly innocent. I didn’t want to bring anything negative her way as a result of a mistake I might make.

    After much internal struggle it became clear that not getting involved was the right thing to do, for my part. I think for her it wouldn’t have mattered so much if I had, so my concerns to that end were misplaced.

    The whole episode actually went on for years, and during that time a lot of important concepts inherent in the situation got thoroughly processed, which was, I believe, the point of it all. It was a catalytic event in my life, without which I would likely have gone on to make the same mistakes again and again.

    If I could impart any wisdom to others as a result of having gone through this experience it would merely be that you’ve got to work out these sorts of things for yourself. The process of struggling through IS the point; it is how you grow. Getting the answers without doing the work is to cheat yourself out of whatever true gains you stand to achieve.

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