Invisible Lover

Invisible Lover

I travel in my dreams. Sometimes I go on journeys to places no one has been for aeons. Other times I get to explore aspects of my life I took for granted. But lately the journey has come to me. And it’s hit quite close to home.

When you see a dream character, can it also see you? When you speak to her is she a figment of your own selfish wishes or imbued with her own mind? How can you tell?

As a waking person it’s totally acceptable to meet someone who changes your life forever. But when you’re asleep, or halfway there, and someone touches you? For all the mind’s rationalizations and attempts to marginalize those impressions the messages they sow in the psyche remain. And some take root and take you places you never thought you could go by yourself.

Maybe you met a guide. Maybe some friendly passing soul. Someone interesting enough to stop and talk with over fish tacos and chocolate malts at some diner in the Verse.

But after so many hours of insightful conversation you open your eyes and realize you’ve been ‘alone’ the whole time. Talking to the air. Talking to yourself. But sure (through some freak of nature) that you’ve made contact with a real person who talks about things you couldn’t make up. At what point are you crazy? There could never be evidence that someone came and ‘changed’ your life if the entire process happens from within. It was just a dream. Lucky it was such a nice one. Right? I’m not so sure about that any more.

For me the hardest thing has always been getting my security-conscious waking mind to accept impressions from my subconscious without boxing, labeling, and storing them in the attic. That’s reversed now. My subconscious is flooding my conscious faster than I can file and sort. It’s making me re-evaluate how I weigh the input from my conscious and unconscious experience. Why is the concrete more valuable than the subtle? Should it be?

If you speak to someone in a dream and you didn’t have to pay a phone bill did you really talk to them? lol What happens when you feel a connection that’s closer than friendship? Can you make love to a mind? And if you could, how much would you let that connection change your life? Is there a line that’s past reasonable and if so how do you draw it?

The things that change you are the scariest things there are. What if you make an uncorrectable mistake and it changes you? Better to make the mistake and learn than to camp around telling yourself stories of what it could be, forever. You can hold back your love until you bust. You can wait until you’re sure beyond sure. But don’t wait around too long because life moves faster than you can believe in it. And the most regrettable thing won’t be what you did but the love you missed while you were drifting in who you thought you used to be.

So if nothing else, I’ve learned that the rigidity of who I think I am isn’t designed to hold back the flow of an entire Universe. And it seems to be conspiring to make me happy even though it’s against my better judgement. Covering your face with a mask doesn’t stop your soul from shining through the most sensitive cracks. We know we can change our perspectives but it’s hard to realize how much our perspectives change us and our choices.

Here I am, as sure as a seashell can be from my tiny corner of this ocean, waiting for the tides to take me. It’s all I can do. All any of us can do. The soul in me sees the soul in you. Good dreams.

You need to login or register to bookmark/favorite this content.

Share Your Thoughts?

Sort by:   newest | oldest | most voted
Tmantel

The other night at around 3 a.m. my laptop wakes out of sleep mode on its own (or at least without MY help) and plays: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rx58LJ1LfuA — “Heaven Is In Your Mind” performed by Three Dog Night.

Perhaps it was friendly message in accord with your own, soultraveller. Whatever the case, thank you for your thoughts. They reflect many of my own.

Sam
This reminds me of a dream I had in the moving gardens. Another figure that appears to be a guide stood next to me yet was more of a ghostly but not scary figure and kept warping in and out of existence. I have conversations with my subconscious all the time, like an interweave of thought crossing from conscious to subconscious and waiting for a response. It may seem that your subconscious has taken form. The obvious similarities between you and her are present as you seem to get on famously with this entity. At any point did you think… Read more »
Fieldanddream

This smiled me so hard! So many of my own thoughts. Thank you!!!
And I know beyond doubt that many of those we meet in dreamtime/meditations are “real”– beyond doubt. 🙂

Etoilerouge

First, you have such a gift for words. Second, the tension between your rational mind and your subconscious intuition resonates deeply with me, and I appreciated how thoughtful and provoking this story was (I’m reticent to call this a story because that implies an element of fiction, and we find ourselves coming full circle to this question of how we define reality). You remind me that we are spiritual beings having a human experience; I hope you’ll share more of your travels. Good journey, soultraveller 🙂

JayDragon

Holy **** I love this. You are a really good writer too. I have so long thought about this. I feel this. Mostly in dreams, I feel someone and theres never a face or a name, just who they are. I dream about the same heart and wake up feeling like I’m in love with a ghost.
Also about this same thing, if you haven’t seen it already, is a movie called: Your Name (Kimi No Na Wa)
its an anime all about what you were talking about. Definitely make you pause and wonder about life

Syddasloth

I can relate to your “invisible lover” soultraveler. I too have the paradox of being invisible to my lover, yet she sees me for who I truly am, which no other soul has been able to do. So at moments, I struggle with being invisible to her, yet then I am challenged because she knows me as well as I do. I’m just waiting for the moment when I no longer am invisible to her. Blessings to you and your loved one dear one. xo

Sam
That might be the friendzone 😛 But on a serious level, this seems like a scenario where you two may have the same feelings for each other but are unsure if the other feels the same way. If you are already together, it can be hard to decipher without knowing what the cause or source is. It might also be noted that it’s possible to be a twin flame as they are the one’s who would truly know the other person on the deepest level but are essentially forbidden to be in love since it’s basically the other half of… Read more »
En-Em

Ohhh I love this. Like you I’ve always been pulled by the unseen. Typically I tend to get lost in telepathic conversations and soul connections shared from thousands of miles away. Its so natural, but dangerously addicting. Thats what we do though, we share energy(hopefully consciously) and when that energy is shared, I feel its no longer a dream. Playing in the slumbers open eyed is a beautiful thing once you have the gumption to let it all go.

Inka

Love love love this story!

PhoenixVanguard
Are you crazy? Absolutely certifiable! Thats one of the reasons we love you here. Each of our “realities” are becoming more permeable than rigid….and sometimes it can scare us. We each find comfort when one of us is courageous enough to be vulnerable and share such craziness with us. Thank you. So….”Row, row, row your boat..gently down the stream….Life is but a dream”. I deeply resonate with the idea that this waking 3D reality is but a dream state for our higher dimensional waking state which we visit every time we sleep, wether we remember it or not. So each… Read more »
PhoenixVanguard

“The things that change you are the scariest things there are. What if you make an uncorrectable mistake and it changes you? Better to make the mistake and learn than to camp around telling yourself stories of what it could be, forever.”

I can relate to this. Trying to learn how to crawl, then walk, then run…and then fly by ourselves can be fraught with mistakes. Thankfully we each found each other thru this site. At least we can lean on each other through the “growing pains”:)

wpDiscuz
Back to site top