This post is about a particular encounter with a guide. So, I must do a bit of background in order for this to make sense.
I must come clean and admit something. I am terrified. This is not something that I have wanted to admit about myself but it is a shadow and I must fully turn and look at it, acknowledge it and move past fear and state that this is a gift.
To back track, I am someone (one of many) who can see. Not only in the 3d, I mean see energies, beings, people lost and those who are guides. I see fae who look like a mix of a dragon and gargoyle, I see the shimmer of elementals. I can see past what someone is saying a times to their intent. I can see in their eyes and read their energy. I can sense where there has been potent important ritual ceremony done. I see the holy Shekinah energy in some and the weight of the current world consciousness in others…etc.
I have been severely afraid of this my entire life. I told myself that this was just my imagination. That I had a very vivid and wild imagination. I did not bother to learn or go forward with knowing this gift due to fear. This led to being heavily medicated with anxiety pills, anti-depressant and very potent sleeping pills. I didn’t want to see. I didn’t want to look. As a child, I would convince myself that none of this was real. If I did find the courage to say what I saw to my parents or adults I was met with being told I was crazy, or keep it to yourself, stop reading books /watching crazy movies and that I needed to have the devil removed from me.
So, I tried to use medication to keep this away. It worked for a while until the unholy side effects started to take over. I would sleep walk, over eat to try and comfort what I saw and I become a recluse. I figured if I wasn’t around people I wouldn’t see or be confronted with their energy. I stayed in my apartment and only went to work and back home, I didn’t want friends, I just wanted to survive. I would keep every light on in my home because the dark was to scary and confronting. However, I could never escape, I knew they were there if I looked.
After a particularly bad depressive episode I had an experience. I tried to end my life as it were due to this and being exiled. It was too much to bear. But I had a Divine light turn on within me that changed me forever.
I slowly began to state that I am safe and then I felt safe. I unlearned the programming of a rigid belief system that did not serve me. I opened my mind to the possibility that this was a gift. I began to talk to the Divine. She started to commune with me. I slowly began to remember ritual and started to have confidence in this gift and myself.
I then came across a mystery school that focused on oracular tradition. I knew that this was something I was meant to see. Upon starting this program, I meet with other women who were a lot like me, regularly talking to those on the other side. for the first time in my life I felt like I wasn’t alone. I belonged to a group a sisterhood of those also chosen and who chose to cultivate and use their gifts for good.
I finally allowed myself to face this fear. With the guidance of an experienced teacher I began to truly explore the unseen realm. I have learned to own my space and that just because a being appears does not mean I have to commune with it. I have a choice. Not something I thought could be done.
One particular day I was lead to a mountain in a new city. The story of how this happened is a tale all its own but just know I was in a new place. I felt that I needed to commune with this mountain that I was to climb it. Just as I surrendered to this notion of climbing a mountain I saw someone out the corner of my eye. I look up to see a tall man in Native American dress at the top of the mountain. I was staring at him and he was staring directly at me. I immediately knew he was in my mind’s eye and I was stopped in my tracks because I had never encountered a human spirit like this before. He was not a lost soul, he was not angry or malicious, he was quite the opposite. He beamed with a rose gold light just above his head. I took note and couldn’t help but wonder why he appeared to me in a warrior’s attire. Nevertheless, he communicated with me this first time with just his hands. Never “speaking” to me just motions. He pointed to a large rock that to me was glowing. I sat on it and for a moment forgot he was there. I meditated and encountered a mountain oracle.
After this was done it was night and I looked around and did not see him anywhere. I said a blessing and left. That night I felt compelled to get into a dove state to do a cosmic Q&A. Once I did there he was. I asked him if he was of the light and love and he answered “yes”. After that I just ignored him because I wasn’t sure what to do. I had met my guides and now the fear was starting to come back because, what is happening? So, day after day I would see him but I never addressed him and he never addressed me but he beamed with a heavenly love. I got the feeling he was a guide and he was here to tell me something but I didn’t want to open that door… yet.
So, with a meeting with my teacher I told her about this experience. She stated that we should call him in and ask him what he wants. Terror filled me again but I knew that I would be witnessed.
Here is an excerpt of dialog of this encounter:
What is your name?
Why are you appearing to me and what can I do for you?
Red Hawk: The park, the mountain and petroglyphs are in a sacred alignment, that need to be cared for, there hasn’t been a willing soul here in a long time to hold the space for the spirit beings and the nature beings. This ground is holy and it needs to be honored and returned to the sacred vibration it once was. There is a true gem in the mountain and we don’t want to have discovered yet.
Is this some kind of stone or energetic vibrancy?
Red Hawk: It is like a fence to the truly sacred land of the southwest. (I see this as energy or like a force field.)
teacher: Some kind of border land to a larger sacred land of the southwest?
What specific steps can I take to help? Are there initial steps or are there regular things? What can I do?
The presence of a holy, sacred vessel will ward off the beings who want to use the energy for wrong doing. Bring an offering regularly as the moon turns, to the mountains, to the petroglyphs, to the park of flowers, herbs, tobacco, of sweet (chocolate or cacao powder) and cornmeal, this will show that the mountain is being watched and protected.
Turns of the moon meaning = waxing and waning moons
Go to the rock that was shown to you and perform this ritual, do not worry about what should be said for the words will come to you. The spirit of my people will be their along with the eyes of the hawks will be there for protection. Melt with the mountain with your presence and prayers at the time of your rituals. You will start off alone with the rituals others will start to join. I see a picture of me within a community of people, performing ritual together.
Since this experience I have searched for Red Hawk who told me he is of the Navajo tribe online, in books, everywhere for validation. I feel in my spirit that I must take this on faith, that some things we oracle may not be able to be validated. I did read of a chief Red Iron Hawk of the Cherokee Indian Nation who is currently alive on our side of the veil. A quote from him shed a light on this name: “I am named after the red-tailed hawk, a Native American symbol for the eastern gate of life, where the sun comes up and sheds its light on the back of Mother Earth,” Red Hawk said.
I find myself talking to Red Hawk all day long. He has told me that I have a connection with the Navajo and that he once knew me and I knew him. As far as I know I have ancestors of the BlackFeet Confederation but I believe this is another life time he is referring to. Anyway, I am thankful to have been witnessed in this, this is truly part of the transformation for me. To accept myself, this gift as a true gift, to have meet wonderful priestesses who have made this journey a bit more bearable. Most of all I am learning, learning to embrace the mystery and adventure of this Dove Oracle Priestess tradition.