When My Heart Opened

When My Heart Opened

Hello everyone <3 This is my first story, and also the first time I have ever opened up to spiritually/cosmically inclined people regarding any of my experiences. I’m just now at a point in life where I am consciously connecting. Please bear with me; I feel a little like a baby deer taking its first shaky steps.

I would like to start with my awakening experience, which happened in early September of this year. It triggered an extreme change in my life situation and my reality; but first I need to lay a little ground work in order to convey the full effect.

This past March, I moved from New England to Belgium with my (ex) husband (who is Belgian). Now I’m in Texas, but more on that later. We decided to do this because when I traveled there previously for vacation, an intense longing surfaced that said I needed to let this country seep into my bones. I wanted to be saturated with Belgium. I found out the reasons for this later, but that is another story. So he got a job offer, and off we went. Transatlantic move!

As I adjusted to life there, I came alive. My hermit (empath) tendencies softened and life was an adventure. Everyone I met felt familiar, and this never happened in New England! I always felt like such an alien there. People began telling me that I was adjusting to Belgium better than my Belgian husband. Like a fish in water.

I didn’t have a job, which gave me a surplus of free time. I have always been metaphysically inclined, but it wasn’t until Belgium that I discovered meditation and began knowing myself as an energy being. This happened as a result of connecting to a member of my soul group (another story) who acted as a catalyst and I was forced inward to cope.

I started awakening little by little, purging HUGE emotions. I remember they would hit me out of nowhere, and I would just surrender and lay on the floor in a puddle until they passed. But I didn’t have the knowledge of what was happening as I do now. It was intense.

As I am awakening, my husband seems to be doing the opposite. We were always opposites, but those differences began intensifying. He was controlling. He was diagnosed with depression, and then emotional dependence (on me). I felt like a prisoner.

Then one day I woke up and just knew; I had to leave. Looking back even my body was telling me what to do. I have never been clumsy but I was accidentally breaking dishes left and right. I got the nickname “La Casseuse” (The Breaker). I now believe it was my higher self telling me it was time to burn this ship down. And as soon as I did, the problem vanished.

I go through with the action, and deliver the news. Trauma, darkness, pain. But I know I am acting in alignment, so I have a serenity that carries me through everything.

My friend mentioned an energy healer who was very connected to Spirit, so I decided to go see him. I knew needed all the help I could get in order to carry out this situation with the level of compassion and grace that I was striving for (no more Karma please). So, I would try energy healing for the first time and I signed up for three sessions. The first, just a chat to establish what was needed, and then two energy work sessions.

When I first met the healer, I experienced clairvoyance for the first time. When we paused to remove our shoes before going into the healing room, I was flashed an image of a starry black sky with one streak of blue, and one streak of purple. It felt like home. This was the first time I was ever shown something that I knew with absolute confidence it was not my mind/imagination. It definitely came from outside of me, and INTO my awareness. An intuitive later told me that this symbolized we were from the same home frequency, which was Arcturus, and that he and I both learned this form of healing in Arcturus together. I definitely felt I had a deep connection to him, deeper than I have ever experienced. And I believe his high frequency amplified my own abilities because meeting him started a spiral of other experiences. There is one other experience (astral?) in particular involving him that I’m still not totally clear on, but when I figure it out, that will be its own story.

I explained my situation to him, and it seemed like he went inward to connect to Spirit. When he came back to, he said, “Oh! You’re here to get your wings.” That felt amazing! Everyone else had been trying to convince me to stay in my marriage. And here was freedom, freely given! He performed what he described as “surgery on the etheric body.” I laid down, and he moved his hands above my body, almost like pulling strands of energy out and around. When he began, he was expressed surprise. He said I had absolutely no resistance to him. That it meant I must deeply trust him, and that it was a gift to him. And then of course I’m laying there wondering if he saw the blue/purple/star image.

He said he removed a crystal in my heart chakra.

Ok, now that the groundwork has been established…

Roughly three days later around 4,5, or 6 a.m. I had a dream. In this dream I saw Me, only, not me, because even though she looked like me, she was much, much more beautiful. She held a golden ball of light in her hands, which I understood to be pure Joy. “Pure Joy” are literally the two words that came to me in the dream. She then placed that ball of light in my chest, and as soon as she did, I woke up. Upon waking, there was literally a new physical sensation in my chest; it felt warm and golden and gooey. And it never went away. I still have it. It’s constant and always there and I can just sink into it, in bliss and love. Some days it’s more clear than others, so it is a good compass for knowing how clear I am. For a while I was afraid it would only be temporary. But it’s not <3

My reality is so different now. My capacity for Love… especially for the Earth, opened up. Now, to connect with her, it is the deepest and most profound love I can consciously embody and access. Before this happened I could never truly imagine how powerful Love is, or how much of it I could feel and hold. And I knew I loved the Earth, but it was more of a mental construct than a feeling. What I feel now is a whole other ball game. And now, when I hear starseeds express that Earth is not their home, I feel sad. And it’s strange because I used to be like that too. She is beyond anything I ever imagined and so full of love for us.

I also feel this depth of Love for my star family and spirit guides, but I am still learning to connect with them consciously. It’s a work in progress. I’m clairsentient, so I always feel them send energy, but often I can’t translate that energy to thought or ideas. To connect with Gaia is the easiest thing for me right now.

I’m very grateful for the space to share this story <3 I would love to hear if anyone has any feedback or similar experiences.

All of my love. Thank you.

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Neverland44

Thank you for sharing! This is wonderful, I can just tell you that I also had a dream about “myself” but more beautiful, older and more fine. And In the dream a man gave me a package with candles. and he said “this is what your parents were not able to convey to you in this life” . But I have to light them by my own.

PseudoCerberus

Thank you for sharing this deeply personal experience, it was a pleasure to read. May I ask what your personal process is like connecting with Earth – how do you get in that space? Also, what does her energy feel like to you? Earth is so many contrasting things and comprised of so many diverse beings – stone, water, desert, ice, leaf and bone – I am fascinated how you connect with her. Thank you.

PseudoCerberus

Sorry – I have another question – the Healer with Arcturian energy – did he asked to be payed for his help or was it freely given?

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